From CEO of a 5 Million Company to an Employee!

What made me do this?

On a Quarantine day when I was reading, I randomly got into this article which stated that the percentage of graduates who want to work for others is starting to decrease now and those who want to start their own company is increasing. Due to the technological advancement, kids these days look up to some of the greatest entrepreneurs of this era like Steve Jobs, Mark Zukerberg, etc. When they start to become one, they read on articles that explore only on the sweeter side of being an entrepreneur. Atleast, as far as I have searched and read that is what is available over the internet. Eventually, making me share my story to record the sour side of being an entrepreneur and the follow-ups.

What was I doing initially?

After my UG, I wanted to do some Business Administration degree in Canada but my parents had other plans. Initially, they wanted me to become a software developer but I preferred to stick with my core. Through a friend, I was able to attend an interview and get placed as a lighting designer. Being a mechanical engineer, it was not fully related to my core but there was a slight relatability with my degree. On the go, I planned to learn it as much as I can, gather as many connections as I can, and start my own company. It has always been that. Everything was going well. I switched 3 companies in during the process and all three were top lighting brands. And I always wanted people to rate me based on my work and not on the brand I represented. So I always kept mum on the brand I represented.

What I never wanted to do?

As I mentioned previously, I always wanted to work on what I studied for. By saying so, I never wanted to do what the other 1 million Indians were doing which is to study Mechanical Engineering and become a Software Engineer. And most importantly, I wanted to be in my hometown and never wanted to work under anyone for a long time. It was always like, just to learn the niche and start my own thing. But I had no idea what my company is going to deal with. As I had some handful of experience in the Lighting industry, I chose it as my business domain.

“It doesn’t matter whether you are a king’s slave or a soldier’s slave, a slave is a slave, and slaves are not allowed to have their wishes and desires. Their only duty is to listen to their master’s order, bend and run to make it happen. Just like how you work for a company”.

Why did I want to do it?

First thing is, after getting heavily inspired by Steve jobs I always wanted to build an empire that could make me enough money to live with my family. According to me, any money which comes sacrificing the family time is worthless. Secondly, I wanted to be the sole decision-maker in what I do. My idea was to make all brands of lighting products available under one roof. Many laughed and thought that this was next to impossible. But I told myself,” If nobody is laughing at my dreams, it is never worth a dream”. By the way, as far as I could remember I use this sentence for the past 5–6 years. But suddenly out of the moon, I could find some templates of the relatively same sentence with a famous entrepreneur. And as a jobs admirer, i never copy anyone.

How it all started?

On one Sunny day (Ya, that is what I remember), I told my boss that I quit and did the official formalities. I reached home, told my parents that I am running a company part-time for some months now, and wish to run it full-time. They saw me puzzled and asked , Which means? I told them, which means, I quit this full-time job and will be planning to run the company full-time which I was running on Saturdays & Sundays before. Most importantly, I am planning to run it in our hometown. So that if I become successful, I will make them move there. They patiently heard my ideas, plans, and gave their suggestions on life and wished me to proceed on whatever I wanted to do. With this, once when all the official proceedings with the employer ended I marched towards my hometown. The first month went for setting-up the company. Then the next 10 months it was pure hard work. I would term those period as the golden times. I put my heart and soul where I had no weekends or vacations. During the course, I could meet some unbelievable professionals, top officials which I cannot imagine meeting off. If setting up a meet is big task, I happen to present them with my ideas and sign a deal. I would say those were the precious/happiest days of my life.

What went wrong?

So, everything was going under the plan. If I go by this rate, I can build my house and will be able to move my parents in less than a year from here. The progress seems good, right?. I often say a very good plan cannot proceed as it was planned. And there comes my friend, literally sobbing looking for a job. I tried as hard as I could to find something better for him but as he had no degree I faced a hard time putting him in. As his sobbing gets increased day by day, I asked him to join me. I don’t know why I did it but I gave him 50% share of my company to him making him an equal right partner (Emotional Intelligence). The initial 1 or 2 months were good, as he was sharing my burden a bit and I was able to work freely/pressure-less. And just when I was praising me for my own decision, he got me into a trap (Which I don’t want to go deep) and all I could do was to give my share to him which will make me bail me out of it. After a long thought, I did it. Meanwhile, he wanted me to work under him. It was like the toughest 10 seconds of my life. On hearing this just like fish, my eyes were filled with water. I just managed myself, gave him a little smile, turned back as fast as I could, so that I could wipe out my tears before he could see it. It took me months to realize that it was him who got me into the trap and it was all his plan.

Things I went through?

For me, losing out on the brand I created was like losing my newborn baby and the friend I lost was like I cheated on myself. I still help him in whichever ways I could whenever he reaches me out. I know that both were not so easy healing wounds and it still exists. Managing people became difficult than managing money. Conversations with the new one’s were not easy anymore. So I started escaping from a gathering of more than 4 to 5 people. I know that I’m not confident anymore. I Struggle to make decisions and I’m not precise with the ones I make. Suddenly dressing up for an occasion vanished and my wardrobe became small which means that it is always going to be a jean and a full-sleeved top. I started separating myself from the crowd. If you could find someone standing at the end of any crowd and ya, that would probably be me. Now I don’t respect people based on their position and just based on who they are. I started noticing their actions than words. It took me some time to realize “what next?. Since I lived up the dream of owning a company, I was not ready to work under anyone and was planning to found another one. When I was approaching myself, I felt some added weight on my shoulders this time. This is where I realized that I became a man now and have to carry some household burdens. I made up mind to hunt for a job, I left all my wishes behind and started learning JAVA which I have never dreamt off . I was able to secure a job as an “INTERN” in a small startup initially. After some months, I was able to raise myself and secure a paid job in a relatively bigger startup when compared to the previous one I would say. And this time due to a dramatic set of events happening around me, demanding me to be home. So, I was home.

How is life now?

I always thought that life is a process and you want to get on with it. Initial days were the tuff, tougher, and toughest for me. I never address anyone disrespectly just because I know how it feels when someone addresses me disrespectfully. But, here is a guy who swallowed 4 years, and what do you expect? Juniors by birth became seniors by professional. It was difficult initially but time healed. The places where I worked before and the one I founded had a process and completely professional. The one where I got in, completely lacks both. Initially, i happen to mood-swing a lot (atleast twice or thrice a week) between work. All I do is isolate myself from everyone, sit under a tree, ask myself, “What am I doing?” . During the process, I realized that it was because of my choices I suffer, helping me manage my anger issues. Now, I have decided to start living a life accepting all these difficulties.

What I have learned?

1. Emotional Intelligence.
2. Money is just a piece of paper which is emotionless.
3. In a world of backstabbing and ingeniune people, I made myself to be against it at any cost.
4. Planning is a myth. And I don’t believe in myths.
5. There is a difference between people’s words and their actions.
6. When you raise, there will be thousands to clap and share the credit. But when you fall, the same thousands will criticize you.
7. There has never been a permanent enemy and a friend.

“Life is a process! You think you are climbing high but when you realize that you are actually falling, you are already on the ground. Let on the ground, you look at the sky, gather yourself, Learn from the mistakes made and start climbing again! The more you gather yourself, the quicker you succeed!”

In the end, I was able to learn two of the most important life lessons,

1. If I could live anybody & everybody else can live.
2. To separate the people. With whom I will be moving forward vs the people I won’t turn back.